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I bitch because I care...
So I wondered to myself today why it is that while I feel relatively positive about my physical condition (reeeeally frustrated, but also hopeful would be most accurate), I still feel the compulsion to complain and detail where I am at with my progress in a way that the simple question, "How is your back doing?" doesn't sincerely invite.
It's because to not complain and express my frustration, to me, means I am resigned. If I do not acknowledge that I am truly pissed off and in pain, maybe even a little depressed about my continuing issues, then I am basically accepting that pain is just a part of my everyday life and therefore not worth mentioning. It is NOT the norm and I won't let it be. Even if it is going on for weeks at a time, I will NOT accept it as "how my life is now". I will not allow myself to become one of those who suffer from chronic pain and physical ailments and limitations, and just shrug and say, "Yeah, I have a bad back, so I have to be careful/can't do that/have to deal with it with regularity." In a way, by detailing my experience and expressing my negativity, I am saying "No, this isn't going to fade into the background of priorities, and it is not how it's gonna be from now on. It's temporary, it's a bitch, and that's that."
So I wanted to thank everyone who has read my chronicles of my back over the past year (Happy One Year Backiversary!), and who continue to listen with compassion when I vent my spleen about it now and again. Because it really is a form of therapy and self-empowerment to be able to say "I don't accept this, and I'm pissed off!"
*sending out love to everyone*
It's because to not complain and express my frustration, to me, means I am resigned. If I do not acknowledge that I am truly pissed off and in pain, maybe even a little depressed about my continuing issues, then I am basically accepting that pain is just a part of my everyday life and therefore not worth mentioning. It is NOT the norm and I won't let it be. Even if it is going on for weeks at a time, I will NOT accept it as "how my life is now". I will not allow myself to become one of those who suffer from chronic pain and physical ailments and limitations, and just shrug and say, "Yeah, I have a bad back, so I have to be careful/can't do that/have to deal with it with regularity." In a way, by detailing my experience and expressing my negativity, I am saying "No, this isn't going to fade into the background of priorities, and it is not how it's gonna be from now on. It's temporary, it's a bitch, and that's that."
So I wanted to thank everyone who has read my chronicles of my back over the past year (Happy One Year Backiversary!), and who continue to listen with compassion when I vent my spleen about it now and again. Because it really is a form of therapy and self-empowerment to be able to say "I don't accept this, and I'm pissed off!"
*sending out love to everyone*
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