2008 is gonna RULE!

by Thursday, November 01, 2007


YAYAYAYAYAY!I am all giddy, and I had to share. Renee is off in DC and I would call her if I wasn't so afeared I would interrupt her family time! So Renee, can you feel tingly right now and need to check in with me...?

Okay, here is the super exciting news--some you know, some you don't.

2008 highlights:

I get to teach (along with the amazing Renee, of course!) TWO workshops at Cues & Tattoos here in Seattle. I am thrilled about this because I know tons of people want to take the bhangra workshop, but I want to share some tribal bellydance stuff too, and Adriene is giving us the chance to. Hooray! Thanks, Adriene!

We will be heading to Bend, OR in March to teach some workshops and hang out with our Gypsy Fire sisters!

Our troupe is aaaaall going to Breitenbush together. And a bunch of my super-awesome Seattle students are coming as well. I already can't wait. Seattle really is taking over Da Bush. Add to this that both Michelle's of Raqs al-Hamra fame will be coming as well for a RAH-REUNION!! Unbelieveably awesome!

I will again be teaching a full weekend of workshops, in Chilliwack, BC in April, along with my faithful dance sister and Canada-trekker Genevieve.

Gypsy Caravan and inFusion Tribal will be teaming up for a performance at Tribal Fest! You heard it here first! It looks like we will likely be in the Friday night show, though confirmation is forthcoming. I could just pee I am so excited about this.

inFusion Tribal and Gypsy Fire of Bend, OR will be teaming up for Folklife this year! See two different interpretations of tribal group improv take the stage together. What will happen...? Who knows? Find out! Date/time TBA.

And the newest happy news:
Paulette asked me to teach at Tribal Quest Northwest 2008! We taught last in 2005, but haven't been back since, and I was waiting with baited breath for the chance to teach at my dance-Momma's event again. And YAY! We will have 2-3 workshop topics. And will likely be reprising our collaboration on the TQNW stage! *hopping from foot to foot*

Teh FCBD-ATS-GSI Wrap-up

by Monday, October 29, 2007
When we last left our fearless adventurers, they were settling in for the night after their first full day of the FCBD GSI.
Day two was probably the most challenging day for me personally. The reason being that the moves were still fairly basic and universal...but with subtle tweaks from what we usually do with them. So the movements individually were not hard at all, but the details and the variations and turning combinations were *just* different enough from what we do to bend the brain a bit. As promised, the talking went down and the dancing went up. We and the gals we had hooked up with the first day had agreed to show up early to stake out a better vantage point in the class (center, not faaar left!--the worst position for ATS, dude!), and stay close so when it came time to group up and dance, we would have some partners with some experience. This plan worked flawlessly and Renee and I partnered with Margaret (who incidentally happens to be in a troupe with LuSynda! Like, from Oasis Dance Camp all that time back! WOAH! Tiny world!).

I think one of my few "I wish" from the weekend would be I wish we had had a little more partner dancing time--more drill time in general, without having to try and follow Meg or Carolena. Just getting to internalize the moves a little bit and put feet to floor to music. But as was evidenced, the goal of this intensive is not to really gain any muscle memory or skill in the moves, but to just be *exposed* to the individual moves, and a chance to ask some questions about the moves and format. This we definitely accomplished.

We had our first day of music theory, which was well laid out. I think I would have taught it a little different from a rhythm study standpoint, but it was neat to get to hear Carolena talk a bit about her relationship with live musicians, and the experience of creating an understandable communication system between the dancers and the musicians when it comes to rhythms and developing music for performance. Or more to the point, the way Carolena and Mark Bell talk about rhythms, and the pitfalls of working with musicians who are "always right". We only ever played triples and military, however, during the workshop.

I got to ask a lot more questions throughout this day, as well as at the Q&A directly after the workshop. I was hyper-conscious of not trying to overwhelm the day with my "agenda" of questions, or to appear too overeager. I was worried about speaking too much, and taking up too much time with my detailed explorations and Carolena's and Megha's gracious answers. However, many women throughout the weekend specifically commented on what great questions I had and how they were enjoying my inquiries and the insight they revealed, so by the end I felt confident I wasn't wasting anyone's time. *whew*

We joined our gals for dinner again that night, this time at a bistro tucked into a 102 year old farmhouse about 15 minutes away. It was lovely, with the courtyard and porch lit by oil torches, and stark white tables in a whitewashed "living room". The food was fabulous (Renee and I split a to-die-for baked goat cheese appetizer, then I moved on to She Crab Bisque and finally Atlantic Salmon), we shared a bottle of wine, lots of laughter, and dance philosophy and dreams. We were so lucky to get to meet up with such wonderful women. Mindy with her strong desire (and blossoming ability) to foster community through the dance, and using it as a tool for battered women. Laraine quietly soaking up the experiences of the other women to take back to her "just broke away from our teacher" troupe, interjecting with occasional questions and contributions. Connie with her desire to bring more codification to her troupe, and some pointed questions to Renee and I about our experiences. Margaret with her classes teaching little girls how to dance, drum, and play zills, and the neat exercises and traditions she has developed to help these girls grow up strong, confident, and nurtured by their little circle.
We head back to the hotel and retired to our own rooms. We were all very tired, had to be up early, check out, have a full day of workshop, and then fly/travel home. So no latenight EEMED watching. But Renee and I ended up drinking some wine, eating some junk, composing some mails to the troupe, and pillow-talking until wee hours. We were exhausted, but couldn't sleep! Finally we fell into an exhaustion and dropped off.

The last day had more new information, but was less mentally challenging for me personally. Largely because the moves were so different from what we do that they were kind of using a different part of my brain power than the day before, and because I had most recently been viewing and working with Volume 7 so the mechanics of the moves were very fresh in my mind and were easily called upon. But unfortunately, my back was killing me. It was already a bit fatigued from the previous days, but when we loaded the suitcases into the car, despite me being very very careful, something went wrong. And my back was in severe pain all day long. So it meant I had to spend more time sitting out that I would have liked. But realistically, this was the best day for me to have been down and out. I danced when it was time to break things down and put feet to floor on a concept, but sat out when it was just doodling around a bit or drilling. I simply economized my dance time to the most important moments in the workshop, and it was alright. I did have to go lie down off to the side a couple of times, and I used up all my Advil earlier than I would have liked. I honestly felt like an idiot sitting out, and feared appearing weak or disrespectful or both! But I knew going into this that I had to do what was best for my physical health, so I just sucked it up and sat out as needed.

We did the latter half of the music theory on this day (not much new info there, but from a teaching perspective, good to observe how another teacher approaches it), as well as belly rolls and flutters (too much time spent on this IMO, but what can ya do). We finished with some partner concepts (Arabic Shimmy w/ arms and fade, Arabic Orbit, etc), and then Carolena and Megha presented us our certificates for those of us who had to dash out before the end of the workshop day (we couldn't stay for the Q&A hour, basically). I have some photos of the weekend, but Chris has the cord for the camera cleverly hidden someplace, so I can't get them off the camera right now! WAH!

For me, it felt too short. I think even one more day would have allowed the workshop a little more fleshed-out exploration and drill time. But I do honestly feel I got a lot out of it--in fact, most of what I went into it for, and then some. I got to ask questions that specifically spoke to the philosophy behind the construction of a move, and gained much insight from observing the connective tissue, details, and aesthetic qualities of FC movement that appeal to me. Renee and I got some inspiration for derivative and new moves and concepts for the troupe, and had good talks with each other and the other women about dance philosophy.

Carolena did confirm that she is definitely developing a second-level training program, between this and the "you can only do ATS" teacher training, which will be a teacher training for those who want to learn more FC movement and teaching skills but not teach only ATS. I am definitely interested in that training, and hope it will work into my 2008 schedule, and that I will be accepted to participate (you have to audition).

Gotta go eat lunch!

*back*
To sum up: the workshop was everything I hoped for and more. Carolena was kind, engaging, super informative, and felt like an open book to me; which to be honest was not was I was expecting, but was grateful to find. She was respectful of people's limits and motivations, spoke clearly and concisely, and managed to put together in only 15 hours a truly informative practical overview of all the moves in the FC vocabulary. Megha was an unexpected treat--a great addition, and she and Carolena taught well together, kind of tag-teaming. Megha's warmth and smile added to the room, as did the presence of her sweet troupe members who were all in attendance, and demonstrated some of the more complex group concepts for us to see in detail and take notes.

It was more than worth the money (and back pain ;)!

The FCBD-ATS-GSI Wrap-up

by Monday, October 29, 2007
When we last left our fearless adventurers, they were settling in for the night after their first full day of the FCBD GSI.

Day two was probably the most challenging day for me personally. The reason being that the moves were still fairly basic and universal...but with subtle tweaks from what we usually do with them. So the movements individually were not hard at all, but the details and the variations and turning combinations were *just* different enough from what we do to bend the brain a bit. As promised, the talking went down and the dancing went up. We and the gals we had hooked up with the first day had agreed to show up early to stake out a better vantage point in the class (center, not faaar left!--the worst position for ATS, dude!), and stay close so when it came time to group up and dance, we would have some partners with some experience. This plan worked flawlessly and Renee and I partnered with Margaret (who incidentally happens to be in a troupe with LuSynda! Like, from Oasis Dance Camp all that time back! WOAH! Tiny world!).

I think one of my few "I wish" from the weekend would be I wish we had had a little more partner dancing time--more drill time in general, without having to try and follow Meg or Carolena. Just getting to internalize the moves a little bit and put feet to floor to music. But as was evidenced, the goal of this intensive is not to really gain any muscle memory or skill in the moves, but to just be *exposed* to the individual moves, and a chance to ask some questions about the moves and format. This we definitely accomplished.


We had our first day of music theory, which was well laid out. I think I would have taught it a little different from a rhythm study standpoint, but it was neat to get to hear Carolena talk a bit about her relationship with live musicians, and the experience of creating an understandable communication system between the dancers and the musicians when it comes to rhythms and developing music for performance. Or more to the point, the way Carolena and Mark Bell talk about rhythms, and the pitfalls of working with musicians who are "always right". We only ever played triples and military, however, during the workshop.

I got to ask a lot more questions throughout this day, as well as at the Q&A directly after the workshop. I was hyper-conscious of not trying to overwhelm the day with my "agenda" of questions, or to appear too overeager. I was worried about speaking too much, and taking up too much time with my detailed explorations and Carolena's and Megha's gracious answers. However, many women throughout the weekend specifically commented on what great questions I had and how they were enjoying my inquiries and the insight they revealed, so by the end I felt confident I wasn't wasting anyone's time. *whew*

We joined our gals for dinner again that night, this time at a bistro tucked into a 102 year old farmhouse about 15 minutes away. It was lovely, with the courtyard and porch lit by oil torches, and stark white tables in a whitewashed "living room". The food was fabulous (Renee and I split a to-die-for baked goat cheese appetizer, then I moved on to She Crab Bisque and finally Atlantic Salmon), we shared a bottle of wine, lots of laughter, and dance philosophy and dreams. We were so lucky to get to meet up with such wonderful women. Mindy with her strong desire (and blossoming ability) to foster community through the dance, and using it as a tool for battered women. Laraine quietly soaking up the experiences of the other women to take back to her "just broke away from our teacher" troupe, interjecting with occasional questions and contributions. Connie with her desire to bring more codification to her troupe, and some pointed questions to Renee and I about our experiences. Margaret with her classes teaching little girls how to dance, drum, and play zills, and the neat exercises and traditions she has developed to help these girls grow up strong, confident, and nurtured by their little circle.

We head back to the hotel and retired to our own rooms. We were all very tired, had to be up early, check out, have a full day of workshop, and then fly/travel home. So no latenight EEMED watching. But Renee and I ended up drinking some wine, eating some junk, composing some mails to the troupe, and pillow-talking until wee hours. We were exhausted, but couldn't sleep! Finally we fell into an exhaustion and dropped off.

The last day had more new information, but was less mentally challenging for me personally. Largely because the moves were so different from what we do that they were kind of using a different part of my brain power than the day before, and because I had most recently been viewing and working with Volume 7 so the mechanics of the moves were very fresh in my mind and were easily called upon. But unfortunately, my back was killing me. It was already a bit fatigued from the previous days, but when we loaded the suitcases into the car, despite me being very very careful, something went wrong. And my back was in severe pain all day long. So it meant I had to spend more time sitting out that I would have liked. But realistically, this was the best day for me to have been down and out. I danced when it was time to break things down and put feet to floor on a concept, but sat out when it was just doodling around a bit or drilling. I simply economized my dance time to the most important moments in the workshop, and it was alright. I did have to go lie down off to the side a couple of times, and I used up all my Advil earlier than I would have liked. I honestly felt like an idiot sitting out, and feared appearing weak or disrespectful or both! But I knew going into this that I had to do what was best for my physical health, so I just sucked it up and sat out as needed.

We did the latter half of the music theory on this day (not much new info there, but from a teaching perspective, good to observe how another teacher approaches it), as well as belly rolls and flutters (too much time spent on this IMO, but what can ya do). We finished with some partner concepts (Arabic Shimmy w/ arms and fade, Arabic Orbit, etc), and then Carolena and Megha presented us our certificates for those of us who had to dash out before the end of the workshop day (we couldn't stay for the Q&A hour, basically). I have some photos of the weekend, but Chris has the cord for the camera cleverly hidden someplace, so I can't get them off the camera right now! WAH!

For me, it felt too short. I think even one more day would have allowed the workshop a little more fleshed-out exploration and drill time. But I do honestly feel I got a lot out of it--in fact, most of what I went into it for, and then some. I got to ask questions that specifically spoke to the philosophy behind the construction of a move, and gained much insight from observing the connective tissue, details, and aesthetic qualities of FC movement that appeal to me. Renee and I got some inspiration for derivative and new moves and concepts for the troupe, and had good talks with each other and the other women about dance philosophy.

Carolena did confirm that she is definitely developing a second-level training program, between this and the "you can only do ATS" teacher training, which will be a teacher training for those who want to learn more FC movement and teaching skills but not teach only ATS. I am definitely interested in that training, and hope it will work into my 2008 schedule, and that I will be accepted to participate (you have to audition).

Gotta go eat lunch!

*back*
To sum up: the workshop was everything I hoped for and more. Carolena was kind, engaging, super informative, and felt like an open book to me; which to be honest was not was I was expecting, but was grateful to find. She was respectful of people's limits and motivations, spoke clearly and concisely, and managed to put together in only 15 hours a truly informative practical overview of all the moves in the FC vocabulary. Megha was an unexpected treat--a great addition, and she and Carolena taught well together, kind of tag-teaming. Megha's warmth and smile added to the room, as did the presence of her sweet troupe members who were all in attendance, and demonstrated some of the more complex group concepts for us to see in detail and take notes.

It was more than worth the money (and back pain ;)!

It's the 602 baby!

by Friday, October 26, 2007
I am writing from our *excellent* (**second)** hotel room in Atlanta, where Renee and I are attending the ATS General Skills Intensive certificaition program with Carolena. Oh yes, Sharon gets the best adventures and drags other people along, I think. Well, I take the blame because it seems like I am the constant in these things. Nevermind the horrid check-in at the airport. Nevermind the ridiculous security line (idiots running that place!), and barely making our flight in time. Nevermind that the people who volunteered to pick us up from the airport neglected to mention that they also agreed to pick up three other people...three hours after our flight arrives, so despite landing at 7:30, we have to sit in the airport waiting and get to our hotel at 11:30pm... (believe me, I am grateful for the generous gesture, but had we been informed of this, we would have rented a car, which would have also settled a few other transportation issues we are running against now)...
We get to the hotel which was recommended: an Extended Stay America, which is set up with a bunch of individual buildings around a courtyard. Each has yellow "danger" tape around every building and giant trash containers taking up half the parking lot spaces. The very nice lady at the desk (yes, really) informs us they are roofing all the buildings. She doesn't know how early they start in the morning. Hooray. We get our assignment, and we hike off across the parking lot to our building. We open the door to the first room, and aside from it being the most depressing hotel room I have ever seen, it stinks like a chain smoker just left...after a week's stay. So we haul our luggage back to the main office (ow my back!), and get our second room assignment a little further away. We hike out there...it's not much better. Turns out they have NO plan for smoking room blocks. They have rows of smoking rooms with one non-smoking room tucked in between! (You know what my father would say). These rooms are so sad--a single glaring fluorescent light in the center of the room, a bathroom about as big as the front seat of my car, nothing on the walls, a single low dark wood dresser with a 22" TV sitting starkly in the center... It's kind of like a prison as far as decor and charm go, and no I don't think I am exaggerating.

So we hike back to get a third room assignment. The nice desk lady says, "Well, we only have three more available rooms. Two of them are the old rooms, which you could try. The rooms you have seen already are our newly rennovated rooms. The older ones won't have the plush furniture. Would you like to try one of those?" (PLUSH FURNITURE?!?!?!) Renee starts to say yes, and I say "Uh...NO! No no no no..." So we try one last "plush" room, and I inform Renee we are moving to the Holiday Inn Express up the street. She halfheartedly agrees (it is a pain in the ass--we will have to walk there, since our ride has gone home) She sits on the edge of the bed and... "Oh damn. These are like slabs of cement with sheets thrown over them." She calls to check on reservations at the Holiday Inn Express.

We hike back to the desk one last time and ask for our money back. It's midnight now Atlanta time, and we have the workshop in the AM. So we grab our bags and head down the street. It is a 5 lane highway, btw, and there are no sidewalks! So we are walking in the road against oncoming cars, ducking into the occasional parking lot to save from walking in traffic. We finally make it...and it is nirvana! Matt The Desk Guy has just popped a bag of popcorn and offers me a handful while he checks us in. Turns out it's all suites, so we get a freaking wicked room (but not before grabbing a couple free cookies and some tea). We dance around the room, leap onto the soft beds, and run into each other's arms, hugging and laughing gleefully at our fortune. We sip our tea, watch the 30" TV (with 70 cable channels and HBO!), and sleep peacefully until morning.

So we have finished our first day of the intensive with Carolena, which was pretty basic stuff and pretty verbose (more talking, less dancing), though we are told that will be less true with each passing day. We were lead to believe the group would be pretty experienced, but really only about half or less have significant training evidenced in their dancing. *sigh* So group work could be dodgy in the coming days, but we're trying to keep an open mind, and soak up all we can! And Carolena is just fab. She has been incredibly engaging, laughing and making jokes, gives a great amount of detail, and has already revealed some of the insights I hoped to glean from taking this workshop with her. Her assistant, Megha of Devyani, is also sweet and well spoken, and I am enjoying their teaching partnership very much. I am enjoying getting to play zills more than usual. I look forward to more hard work--this from the gal with the back issues! Today was no big deal at all. I could have stood more pain to have more real drilling.

After the workshop, we met up with some gals from Tennessee and Florida, who invited us out to dinner along with two other gals we had met earlier (from Virginia and Baltimore). After getting their reservations canceled over at the Extended Stay and (effusively grateful) moved into the Holiday Inn as well, we head out for a meal. We drove a little out of the way for an Asian fusion restaurant they found online, which was delicious, and there was much laughter and dance talk. Great gals, good time. Stopped at the store on the way home for some snacks and wine for tomorrow night--a little EEMED video watching is in store, as is possibly a trip to one of the largest haunted houses in the US, which is just up the road apparently!

Sorry that got so long!

It's da 602, BAYBEE! ATS General Skills

by Friday, October 26, 2007
I am writing from our *excellent* (**second**) hotel room in Atlanta, where Renee and I are attending the ATS General Skills Intensive certificaition program with Carolena. Oh yes, Sharon gets the best adventures and drags other people along, I think. Well, I take the blame because it seems like I am the constant in these things. Nevermind the horrid check-in at the airport. Nevermind the ridiculous security line (idiots running that place!), and barely making our flight in time. Nevermind that the people who volunteered to pick us up from the airport neglected to mention that they also agreed to pick up three other people...three hours after our flight arrives, so despite landing at 7:30, we have to sit in the airport waiting and get to our hotel at 11:30pm... (believe me, I am grateful for the generous gesture, but had we been informed of this, we would have rented a car, which would have also settled a few other transportation issues we are running against now)...


We get to the hotel which was recommended: an Extended Stay America, which is set up with a bunch of individual buildings around a courtyard. Each has yellow "danger" tape around every building and giant trash containers taking up half the parking lot spaces. The very nice lady at the desk (yes, really) informs us they are roofing all the buildings. She doesn't know how early they start in the morning. Hooray. We get our assignment, and we hike off across the parking lot to our building. We open the door to the first room, and aside from it being the most depressing hotel room I have ever seen, it stinks like a chain smoker just left...after a week's stay. So we haul our luggage back to the main office (ow my back!), and get our second room assignment a little further away. We hike out there...it's not much better. Turns out they have NO plan for smoking room blocks. They have rows of smoking rooms with one non-smoking room tucked in between! (You know what my father would say). These rooms are so sad--a single glaring fluorescent light in the center of the room, a bathroom about as big as the front seat of my car, nothing on the walls, a single low dark wood dresser with a 22" TV sitting starkly in the center... It's kind of like a prison as far as decor and charm go, and no I don't think I am exaggerating.

So we hike back to get a third room assignment. The nice desk lady says, "Well, we only have three more available rooms. Two of them are the old rooms, which you could try. The rooms you have seen already are our newly rennovated rooms. The older ones won't have the plush furniture. Would you like to try one of those?" (PLUSH FURNITURE?!?!?!) Renee starts to say yes, and I say "Uh...NO! No no no no..." So we try one last "plush" room, and I inform Renee we are moving to the Holiday Inn Express up the street. She halfheartedly agrees (it is a pain in the ass--we will have to walk there, since our ride has gone home) She sits on the edge of the bed and... "Oh damn. These are like slabs of cement with sheets thrown over them." She calls to check on reservations at the Holiday Inn Express.

We hike back to the desk one last time and ask for our money back. It's midnight now Atlanta time, and we have the workshop in the AM. So we grab our bags and head down the street. It is a 5 lane highway, btw, and there are no sidewalks! So we are walking in the road against oncoming cars, ducking into the occasional parking lot to save from walking in traffic. We finally make it...and it is nirvana! Matt The Desk Guy has just popped a bag of popcorn and offers me a handful while he checks us in. Turns out it's all suites, so we get a freaking wicked room (but not before grabbing a couple free cookies and some tea). We dance around the room, leap onto the soft beds, and run into each other's arms, hugging and laughing gleefully at our fortune. We sip our tea, watch the 30" TV (with 70 cable channels and HBO!), and sleep peacefully until morning.

So we have finished our first day of the intensive with Carolena, which was pretty basic stuff and pretty verbose (more talking, less dancing), though we are told that will be less true with each passing day. We were lead to believe the group would be pretty experienced, but really only about half or less have significant training evidenced in their dancing. *sigh* So group work could be dodgy in the coming days, but we're trying to keep an open mind, and soak up all we can! And Carolena is just fab. She has been incredibly engaging, laughing and making jokes, gives a great amount of detail, and has already revealed some of the insights I hoped to glean from taking this workshop with her. Her assistant, Megha of Devyani, is also sweet and well spoken, and I am enjoying their teaching partnership very much. I am enjoying getting to play zills more than usual. I look forward to more hard work--this from the gal with the back issues! Today was no big deal at all. I could have stood more pain to have more real drilling.

After the workshop, we met up with some gals from Tennessee and Florida, who invited us out to dinner along with two other gals we had met earlier (from Virginia and Baltimore). After getting their reservations canceled over at the Extended Stay and (effusively grateful) moved into the Holiday Inn as well, we head out for a meal. We drove a little out of the way for an Asian fusion restaurant they found online, which was delicious, and there was much laughter and dance talk. Great gals, good time. Stopped at the store on the way home for some snacks and wine for tomorrow night--a little EEMED video watching is in store, as is possibly a trip to one of the largest haunted houses in the US, which is just up the road apparently!

Sorry that got so long!
by Sunday, October 14, 2007


Me and mah gurlz got to rock it today at the Totally Tribal Hafla. What a great fun event, and a GLOOOOORIOUS day for it to happen on. Unfortunately, Chris' back was bothering HIM, and he was frowny and hunhappy and needed to leave, so I didn't get to hang out and do anything (granted, he offered for us to stay as long as I wanted, but honestly...I wasn't signing up for him moaning in pain every 2 minutes while I walk around and browse the booths, ya know?)



The hafla itself was lovely, the venue was fun (must go back and check it out in more depth sometime!), and our performance was well received. It was sooo exciting to be back up there with Gen and Kym again (WAHOO!!!), and a special additional treat to have our newest sisters, Star and Kate, with us as well. It just felt...that magic we wanted to feed this fall...here it is.

For me personally...it was hard, I admit. I felt so stiff and out of sorts. I caught myself not smiling a few times, which for anyone who knows me is ridiculous. But I was in pain and the moves were a real struggle to push from my tight and out-of-dance-shape body. But I got to throw a new combo at Gen to stage-test, and I think it worked out well. There was a smatter of zaghareets from the audience and my chorus ladies, so I think it was good! Considering it has been in my head all week long, it was fun to get to pull it out. Gen rules like that to just pick it up and run with it.

It's always like a mini-reunion at these events, and seeing beautiful ladies like Leslie and Karen and Kath and Ellen and...a huge long list of lovellies. Then add to that all my sweet students who came out, and getting a chance to hang with some of the coolest people I know...it was a great way to come back to performing. I already was excited for next month's Capitol Club, and now even moreso!

Thanks to everyone who came out! And cheered and hissed and zaghareeted (and cried out for encores!! ;). And thanks for my loving hubby who took the pics and endured his back pain to be there to support us. I love you, my darling.

Artist Way, October 12, 2007

by Friday, October 12, 2007

 

Artist Way, October 12, 2007
A snippet from my morning pages during my 2007 Artist Way stint:

"Well, dreams dreams dreams. Nutty, hugely real, eclectic dreams. Of the three I remember from last night, this morning's was the closest to "reality".

I dreamt I was teaching some huge classes at some three-story hippie-facility--live/work, woo-woo decor--and this woman kept on getting in my way. She would turnup the music when a student was talking, used some weird stereo that was hard for me to reach for myself, picking the wrong music, turning it up way too loud. Come to this of it, I think everything she did was somehow tied to controlling the music! Funny since we are in the middle of making a big old music compilation DVD for the troupe. But I don't feel particularly at odds with this project, so I think the dream has larger ramifications...

Anywho, the woman has to leave for some school thing, my classes have gotten smaller and smaller as students have left in annoyance from this woman's antics. I decide to re-group and move my class to a different space within the facility: smaller, better acoustics, etc. I grab a boom box and we gather. I am sitting and go to stand up to review the combo I am teaching, and I fall back down very dizzy. I try to get up again, and fall down, and the whole room spins. I lay there for a bit, feeling foolish and like I am wasting so much of the students' time! I try to slowly come to my feet, and fall a third time.

Then it comes to me--gravity has reversed for me! Which of course makes no sense, and I am far too casual about it. I demonstrate to my students how if I stand on my hands and let go of whatever I am hanging on to, I begin to slide toward the ceiling. My students nod in a mix of amazement and concern. "Could it be this place?" we muse. Is this hippie hang-out some mystical convergence zone? Interestingly, when I sit or lay down and I am fine. It's only when I try to stand up like I usually do that I get dizzy and fall down."

Conscious Evolution

by Wednesday, September 19, 2007


I am fairly certain that most people would agree that evolution is rarely a conscious process. Particularly in art. We definitely try to push our limits, learn new things, and "grow", but I think in art, as in life, "growth" and "evolution" are two different processes. The former is a shorter term experience, fairly easily quantified and observed both by yourself and others. The results are gross...less in the details. Evolution tends to be more subtle and over a much longer period of time. It is more about the essence of a thing.
I am finding that right now, I am becoming conscious of an evolution of my dance self (and without getting too deep, also some very personal parts of my being as well). Something in my core beliefs...my essence...is shifting. I have never "seen" this happen before. It was always something happening under the surface, beyond my notice, and over years. This evolution is occurring very swiftly--in the last 8-10 months--and in the front of my consciousness. I am finding myself taking notice of it, and making quite deliberate choices to facilitate it.


The thing with being a teacher is that you end up taking a lot of other people along on this evolutionary journey. I can't just change on a whim, like some dancers might be able to, especially soloists--what freedom they have! Enviable! Instead, I have a heavy responsibility for consistency and clarity in my dance, which goes far beyond myself. So there is a fair amount of consideration and creative practice that I have to do on my own, and keep it separate and pure from my student experience, until I am certain it is something I want to really plow ahead with. That means I am spending about 7 hours a week using my mental and creative energy trying to keep things the "old way" (familiar way) while I what remains of my mental and creative energy trying to honor this evolution that is knock-knock-knocking on my being. I feel pulled two or more directions, and unable to fully commit myself to either because of uncertainty and this flowing feeling of "mustchangemustchangemustchange".

I am not even sure I can articulate all the ways I want things to change. Luckily I have found some tools within myself this year to being able to communicate some *energetic* changes I wanted to see in my and my students' dancing, and it was very effective. Now I want to keep it moving, and to change vocabulary to fit. Another "issue" is Renee (*waving*). My decisions are also not entirely my own in this regard. If I didn't have a co-director, I would make sweeping changes right now based solely on my personal choices and considerations. But I have to run these ideas past Renee, and we sometimes (event often?) have very different approaches to such things. That in itself is a blessing and a curse--to be able to have another pair of critical eyes, but at the same time not being able to just "go" when my heart says "it's time to change/alter/move"... I wouldn't trade it for the world--we have an awesome partnership. With all the ups and downs, it is a beautiful thing in my life, my collaborations with Renee. But that is one of the challenges for me creatively--it is another restriction I have to work with. A somewhat externally imposed structure for me has been good so far--keeps me grounded--so I roll with it.

I am really looking forward to the General Skills Intensive. Frankly, a lot of my current evolutionary impulses are popping like popcorn when I look at FatChance. I have always been an admirer, but I am finding my personal aesthetics and creative desires are more in line with theirs all the time. Do I want to go ATS? Not in a million years. The philosophy of the format is not in line with my spirit. But I would gladly adopt a direction more in line with their aesthetics, and have been slowly adding some bits and pieces in essence and in vocabulary throughout 2007 as a direct result of this personal evolution I have been experiencing. I am looking forward to Renee and I getting to explore the details of FC's style together, in a true "intensive" where we get to examine the vocabulary up close, from the source. I am hoping that she will feel some of what I have been feeling about this format this year, and there will be some freedom to continue to incorporate some of that "look and feel" into our collective style. If not, then that part of my evolution will have to slow down a bit...for now...


In other news, watch for a couple of exciting collaborations this spring--inFusion will be teaming up with some fabulously talented dancers from other troupes for a couple of major events in 08. What could it be....? Stay tuned!

Conscious Evolution

by Wednesday, September 19, 2007
I am fairly certain that most people would agree that evolution is rarely a conscious process. Particularly in art. We definitely try to push our limits, learn new things, and "grow", but I think in art, as in life, "growth" and "evolution" are two different processes. The former is a shorter term experience, fairly easily quantified and observed both by yourself and others. The results are gross...less in the details. Evolution tends to be more subtle and over a much longer period of time. It is more about the essence of a thing.

I am finding that right now, I am becoming conscious of an evolution of my dance self (and without getting too deep, also some very personal parts of my being as well). Something in my core beliefs...my essence...is shifting. I have never "seen" this happen before. It was always something happening under the surface, beyond my notice, and over years. This evolution is occurring very swiftly--in the last 8-10 months--and in the front of my consciousness. I am finding myself taking notice of it, and making quite deliberate choices to facilitate it.

More ramblings about dance and change n' stuff after the cut...


The thing with being a teacher is that you end up taking a lot of other people along on this evolutionary journey. I can't just change on a whim, like some dancers might be able to, especially soloists--what freedom they have! Enviable! Instead, I have a heavy responsibility for consistency and clarity in my dance, which goes far beyond myself. So there is a fair amount of consideration and creative practice that I have to do on my own, and keep it separate and pure from my student experience, until I am certain it is something I want to really plow ahead with. That means I am spending about 7 hours a week using my mental and creative energy trying to keep things the "old way" (familiar way) while I what remains of my mental and creative energy trying to honor this evolution that is knock-knock-knocking on my being. I feel pulled two or more directions, and unable to fully commit myself to either because of uncertainty and this flowing feeling of "mustchangemustchangemustchange".

I am not even sure I can articulate all the ways I want things to change. Luckily I have found some tools within myself this year to being able to communicate some *energetic* changes I wanted to see in my and my students' dancing, and it was very effective. Now I want to keep it moving, and to change vocabulary to fit. Another "issue" is Renee (*waving*). My decisions are also not entirely my own in this regard. If I didn't have a co-director, I would make sweeping changes right now based solely on my personal choices and considerations. But I have to run these ideas past Renee, and we sometimes (event often?) have very different approaches to such things. That in itself is a blessing and a curse--to be able to have another pair of critical eyes, but at the same time not being able to just "go" when my heart says "it's time to change/alter/move"... I wouldn't trade it for the world--we have an awesome partnership. With all the ups and downs, it is a beautiful thing in my life, my collaborations with Renee. But that is one of the challenges for me creatively--it is another restriction I have to work with. A somewhat externally imposed structure for me has been good so far--keeps me grounded--so I roll with it.

I am really looking forward to the General Skills Intensive. Frankly, a lot of my current evolutionary impulses are popping like popcorn when I look at FatChance. I have always been an admirer, but I am finding my personal aesthetics and creative desires are more in line with theirs all the time. Do I want to go ATS? Not in a million years. The philosophy of the format is not in line with my spirit. But I would gladly adopt a direction more in line with their aesthetics, and have been slowly adding some bits and pieces in essence and in vocabulary throughout 2007 as a direct result of this personal evolution I have been experiencing. I am looking forward to Renee and I getting to explore the details of FC's style together, in a true "intensive" where we get to examine the vocabulary up close, from the source. I am hoping that she will feel some of what I have been feeling about this format this year, and there will be some freedom to continue to incorporate some of that "look and feel" into our collective style. If not, then that part of my evolution will have to slow down a bit...for now...

A Real Weekend

by Monday, August 20, 2007


So last week I had my physical therapy and chiropractor appointments. The PT really made me sore as hell--thighs and abs. Abs are still feeling it today from last Thursday, that's how sore. It was good, though. Moving. Feeling strong (or recognizing my weaknesses and resolving to strengthen them) felt good.
Saturday we had plans for brunch and the 3.1K Greenwood-Phinney Gumshoe walk with Amy and Erik. We started at The Library to fuel up, then drove up to the community center to start the walk. The walk is kind of a scavenger-hunt type stroll through the neighborhoods of Greenwood and Phinney Ridge. 3.1K isn't far, but with copious hills and my weakened state of being lately, it felt like plenty to me. The walk took us aaall over, through the residential areas, down alleys, and briefly through the shops areas. Some of the lovely gardens and funky little artsy homes were so inspiring of both motivation and guilt for my own home and garden. Loved that part. Some of the clues were interesting, others a little boring. Mostly the company was the fun part. It has inspired Chris and I--scavenger hunt lovers and long inspired by The Game. Hrm....

Saturday night was mellow. We head to Stanford's early for the tail end of early happy hour, then home to chill out.

Sunday morning Chris made breakfast, and then we almost immediately head out to see a movie. Originally we were going to see Transformers, but we were nearly 10 minutes late in getting there for it, so we opted for Stardust instead. It was really enjoyable. We both thoroughly enjoy Neil Gaiman (I am reading Neverwhere right now, which just NEEDS to be a movie, like, NOW). Afterward we hit the mall to grab some essentials, and ran into Bren and got to chat briefly and hug n hug. The mall was closing shortly, though, so it was brief. Then over to Claim Jumper to get my blue cheese iceberg wedge craving out of the way, and eat far too much food (there is NO need for an appetizer at Claim Jumper, not EVER). We rolled uncomfortably home, and settled in to a little WoW before retiring to bed and watching half of 300. Sorry, that movie bugs me immensely. If Chris hadn't been massaging my hands to keep me from shutting it off, we woulda' only made it about 1/4 of the way through before I would have insisted on stopping. The cinematography and finish-work on the film is so gratuitous, it detracts from the storytelling for me. Sorry for those of you who liked it. I could not watch the second half and be juuuus dandy.

In any case...it was a weekend of doing and being. And I am happy. My back isn't hurting, just weak and sensitive, if you will--mentally. I am still not allowed to twist or forward bend, but I feel more strong and stable and confident that I am healing fabulously. HOORAY!!

Coming to you LIVE from Northwest Hostpial

by Tuesday, July 31, 2007


I am admitted, and sitting in a very stark room in a gown that opens in the back. Yeehaw. The desk lady was mean and scowled at me when I brought in a sandwich I had bought at the comissary, expecting a long wait for admittance. They didn't give it to me in a to-go container as I expected, so I am carrying this little paper tray with a turkey sandwich in it around everywhere and I am not allowed to take a bite. Grrr
Back sucks today, too, so I am glad I am here. I had this concern that, as per usual, I would have some ailment that mysteriously went away when I went to try and see someone about it. I guess I couldn't complain if it REALLY went away, but if I had a "good day" today, decided not to come after all, and then had a "bad day" tomorrow, I would have been at the very least irritated.

I don't like the vibe here at all. Nobody makes eye contact. I had to hike around a bit to find this place, and then nobody smiled or anything when they directed me. It's so...meh here. I no likey.

The nurse was nice. And she carried my laptop bag for me. :) She will be assimilated into the new world order when we take over...

So amuse me. Who knows how long until I see a doctor. *breeze blowing up back of gown* What is everyone else doing today?

BTW, Amy and Jen suggested last night that I have a pity-party this weekend. Since I can't go to TQNW, and am feeling decidedly sorry for myself, they suggested I need to make some fun for myself. They offered mojitos and chocolate cupcakes. Mmmmmm I may just do it.

BTW, I am MissClotho on AIM, if you ever wanna chat.

EDIT: MOTHERFUCKER. I asked for Urgent Care and they apparently sent me to the Emergency Room. Nobody mentions this until they hand me a billing notice that says I will owe $100 copay today for this visit, instead of $50. I explain this to the woman handing me my sheet and she just CHUCKLED AND WALKED OUT OF THE ROOM. I AM PISSED!

Hospital Confusion

by Tuesday, July 31, 2007


So I think I confused some people with my visit tot he hospital today. But it is the source of another frustration, so I can clear it up, AND vent the hell out of my insurance!So right off the bat: NO. my back is not "so bad I had to go to the hospital". So never fear. But the reason I went is here:

So some of you know I have had a bit of a runaround with my insurance, since we changed insurance companies recently, and I can't see my regular doctor any more at the office I loved loved loved. That is, seems no one is taking new patients, and despite being assigned one, and then choosing one from the directory, I was informed they are not taking new patients and to find a different one. The insurance company finally assign me one that will take me...then that office promptly tells me they will not take patients with BACK PAIN ISSUES. I kid you not. Through three doctors (well four, since I tried to go back to one twice), and none will see me to help ease my suffering. So the insurance company tells me my only recourse is to go to Urgent Care. In the meantime, they say, I can self-refer to a chirpractor, which is how I ended up with my chiro. But I wanted a second opinion, and with the recent relapse and inability to get my chiro to call me back in the last 24 hours of pain...

So this morning I went to NW Hospital, which is the Urgent Care facility associated with the doctor-i-have-been-assined-to-yet-never-ever-seen-who-won't-see-me-because-i-have-back-issues. I walk up to the help desk and ask for Urgent Care, and she points me to the office right there--there is no confusion about where she pointed me to. It was within view. Couldn't miss it. But only after I had seen two nurses and handed my insurance info over to some other woman who barely spoke English, did they tell me was actually the Emergency Room, and it was going to cost me $100 copay instead of the $50 copay the Urgent Care clinic would have cost (and when I ask about it, I get the afore-blogged-about chuckle and walk-away). Additionally, I am informed that due to triage policies in effect, my horrible experience of feeling like not ONE person listened to me despite having to tell my symptoms over and over again to three separate people, is entirely typical. They basically know what they are going to tell you to do no matter what you try to tell them, just based on the symptoms, to keep a high turnover. So the doctor did nearly NOTHING, prescribed pain meds and muscle relaxants, and referred me to someone else. Oh and I should mention...he said my chiropractor probably knew how to deal with this better than anyone, if there is no fracture involved (not that anyone confirmed if there was one or not at the emergency room, but anyway...)

BTW, I did get in to see my chiro. He fit me in at the end of his day, and I brought Chris to meet him and see the office I have been going to every week. Dr. John Tong is his name, BTW http://www.wholehealthseattle.com Anyway, I asked him about the meds they gave me, as I feared muscle relaxants would undermine my work with him, which he confirmed was the case. He is confounded as I am as to why my vertebrae pops out so easily. But the good news is it pops right back in again...I guess? :) He gave me some new more intense and frequent exercises, and even more orders to ice ice ice, many times a day. The goal is to keep it in place long enough for the muscles around it to strengthen and heal it into place. He knows I am on a 30-day deadline to my holiday, and we are working with that in mind.

I left feeling still sore and stiff, but better than I was,as always. And a renewed sense that he is still the best course of action for my spinal health right now.

But don't think we didn't fill those prescriptions...*wink*

I DANCED!

by Tuesday, July 24, 2007


I DANCED!AND I WALK AND MOVE AND BEND N' SHIT!

I DANCED!

I DANCED!I DANCED!I DANCED!I DANCED!I DANCED!I DANCED!I DANCED!I DANCED!OMFGLOLLERSKATESBBQTEHDANCIN'!

I iced as soon as I got home. And this morning as I lay in bed I just kept wondering how I was going to feel...was I going to be okay. No way to tell until I try to sit up...I roll over and sit up...AND I WAS OKAY! Just that teensy ache, but nothing sharp. I bent over gently, testing...and I could bend over without that sharp smack upside the head-kinda pain.

I FUCKING DANCED!

I was really well behaved and gentle with myself. I could see everyone looking at me sidelong all night to see how I would do. I didn't twist. I made sure anything twisting, Sarah addressed. And DeAnn lead the Aziza drills in Intermediate. I didn't do bicycle shimmies even. I avoided leading as much as possible, and gave more skills and drills for me to walk around and observe. By the time Int rolled around, I was definitely fatigued. I was feeling a little ache in my back and really really wanted to lie down, but thought that would look to funny. So I hung in, and then did a cooldown with splits stretching for all of our benefits (which I got lots of compliments on, so I think they enjoyed it as much as I did).

I DANCED!
idanced
yeefuckinhaw

Good weekend

by Monday, July 23, 2007


The weekend went well. Med Fest. Torrential rains. Good friends. Back pain lessening further still.
Saturday morning rain was threatening, but held off while we were setting up, which was great. Renee and I opted to do a big closet cleaning and sell off as much of our old costuming as possible. I was selling pantaloons for $5 apiece and 10-yard skirts for $15. I even sold my brocade Flying skirt for $15. Just let it allllll go. Got rid of all my old VHS videos, and most of the new ones. Sold half my CD collection at $10 a pop. It was liberating.

As a result of the "purging" theme, I was hardly interested in any buying. I bought a few bindis and a top. That's it. Probably the least I have ever spent at any festival. I don't even think I looked in every booth. No urge.

The rains came. Oh boy did they. It was a soggy day. But warm, too. In the low 70's. So the mugginess kept us feeling sticky all day. Fab. It was a brisk sales pace all day, and most everyone we spoke to wasn't planning on returning on Sunday. We wondered if we even should have plans to come back outside of performing...

My students performed at 4pm inside. They are gaining so much confidence and joy in their performance, and it is a pleasure to witness.

Chris spent the rest of the day home trying to clean and prepare for the party. By 6pm we were talking about leaving. The rain was keeping people under shelter or leaving, and Chris needed help at home. So we took off at 7pm, closing up, praying the rain wouldn't get into the tent all night long. The Gypsy Fire girls followed us back, and we all pitched in to set up the deck some more, add some mood lighting, and then tuck into some snacks and drinks. The tarp Chris (with a small help from me--mostly him) set up over the deck worked great. It needed occasional dumping out of accumulated water in one area we just couldn't get a good slope for runoff, but everyone stayed pretty darn dry and happy throughout. The extra 10X10 near the fire on the lawn was much appreciated and warm and cozy. I still was stunned I was wearing a comfy skirt and tee shirt all night long, while it's pouring rain. It was just so nice and warm.

Many convened to the living room for a full concert with Guitar Hero followed by Karaoke Revolution. I got to sing a couple wicked-awesome duets with Amy, and Amy W and Erik sang a lovely duet. I even got to sing and play guitar with Befu and Krystal!

As is the custom these days, we ended up with a "final four", with Krystal and Jen, who left at about 3:30am. We plopped into bed by 4am, ready to get up the next day to hit the festival, wishing we didn't have to.

11am we hit the festival. Mah inFusionista gurlz were going on at noon, sans yours truly for the first time in our history of performing at MF. We were all feeling tired and soggy and uninspired. But the rain wasn't coming today, and it was still warm, so it was kinda nice. And a lot more people than we expected showed up to see the performance! My chicas hit the stage and did AWESOME. I mean...I was feeling pretty fine about not performing with them--we were all so blah that morning, and it was a real "Ah, who cares anyway," approach to the whole thing (which is rare for us!). But when I saw them light up that stage, rock the crowd who had completely stopped in their tracks to watch, and the audience go nuts for them, I was so sad I wasn't there with them! They were so tight! And all these new combos and music we have been playing with, I STILL haven't gotten to play with! WAH! But they were just incredible, and I was beaming with pride.

We cheered on Gyspy Fire, and then began to pack up. It was sooo slow. People just assumed it was going to be a nasty day and didn't plan to come. We had low inventory, and few people coming by, and we just decided to head out. I ran in to the gym to catch most of Urban Berbers, and then finished packing the tents and head home.

Exhausted, we unpacked the car, and started cleaning the house from the party. Bleh. Everything outside was so soggy. The kitchen was a wreck. But we got through most of it before we got food delivered and we settled in to eat and try to relax. We cuddled on the couch (ah what a treat), and then went to be early. I am exhausted still today.

My back was great all weekend. I expected to wake up miserable after the Saturday party, and all the bopping around with the Guitar and mic. But I woke up feeling pretty okay after all. Just a bit achey. Same today. A little more achey today, due to all the hauling from breaking down the tents, party, and goods. But not the debilitating stiffness I was used to. I am hoping I have come over a hump!! I will be back teaching tonight for the first time in almost 6 weeks, with the assistance of my darling Sarah. I look forward to it and am nervous too. I don't know what my limits will be. Keep sending good energy my way!

Back update

by Thursday, July 12, 2007

 

Saw my chiropractor today. Basically last week when I started feeling sharp pain in my back again, I should have stopped doing the exercises he had given me to do. The exercises were intended to strengthen the muscles surrounding the vertebrae while it was in proper alignment. So when it came out (I couldn't have known this, of course), I should have stopped. As it was, the reason I was getting worse and worse all this past week was because I was making it worse.

So I got an adjustment today, and he remarked that the vertebrae had actually not only moved out of alignment, but had locked there. It took some work to get it back into place. But it is, and the pain is less now as a result.

But it basically puts me back at square one in my treatment, and will likely be a couple weeks before I start feeling better again. No twisting, no compression allowed. So unfortunately, I am not able to do Capitol Club or Med Fest. I am obviously disappointed, and feel awful to be letting my dance family down. :( THEY of course are completely awesome and have been entirely supportive and encouraging me to be gentle with myself. Renee especially as been a pillar for me. Love you, Nay.

The chiro felt awful that I had this setback while he was on vacation. He said had we caught it last week, and had an adjustment right away, I could be on track still. But it was just horrible timing, unfortunately. Talking with him about it was assuring, and I feel better today just knowing WHY things were so bad, and knowing it is avoidable and there is a continued plan of attack. I feel like there is a hopeful road in the coming weeks, which I have not been feeling since my pain came back last week.

I am blessed to have this family around me right now. My sisters. My students and their sweet e-mails. My Christopher and his gentle caring and making sure I am taken care of at every turn. I feel loved. And I love them all so much in return.

Ze back

by Thursday, June 21, 2007


My back has been worse than ever. I had to cancel performing tonight.But the good news is I went to see a chiropractor this afternoon. I went in with a fair amount of trepidation and even greater amount of skepticism. But my insurance is apparently very supportive of the practice, as it is only a $20 copay, and allows 35 visits per calendar year! So I had an adjustment...and instant results. Not "done"--I think I would have been even more skeptical if I did feel better right away. But it is SO MONUMENTALLY better than it was. I have a follow up Saturday. It was strange, experience-wise. I didn't know what to expect. It is intimate...so hands-on compared to conventional medicine. But I really liked the doctor. And I met a bellydancer who studies with Katia Sahar on the way out. Small world.

I feel so much better. No twisting allowed really means no twisting. When I twist, I feel crappy. But without twisting, I feel 1MILLION times better.

Instructor of the Year Nomination!

by Monday, May 07, 2007


Holy cow...Thank you SOOOO MUCH, everyone who nominated me for Instructor of the Year in the Zaghareet Golden Belly Awards!

www.zaghareet.freeservers.com/poll.html

You guys completely made my year! I can't tell you how grateful I am for your support.

**Nominations are just the beginning, though. Now the voting begins.**

Your continued support for me in the voting from here would be so welcome and appreciated, if you are moved to do so. Anyone can vote--you, your friends, your family, your classmates. If you are so inclined, please pass this info onto anyone you like to vote for me in the coming awards. We have all summer to rally. :) And of course, if you see someone else among the nominees who you feel a greater impulse to vote for, I encourage you to vote with YOUR personal experiences and gut feelings--your vote should reflect your honest opinions, and if your experiences dictate someone else go on your ballot, please do so.

Send your votes by August 15, 2007 to Zaghareet!, P.O. Box 1809, Elizabeth City, NC 27906 or by email to zaghareetmagazine@earthlink.net Be sure to include your name and address and please vote only once in each category. Remember, this is a People's Choice Award, so anyone can be nominated and anyone can win! Winners will be announced in the September/October issue of Zaghareet! "

Blessings, dear dancers.

Times they are a-changin'

by Wednesday, April 04, 2007


This past weekend was wonderful fun. Gen and I head up to Chilliwack, BC to teach a weekend chock full of dancing goodness.

We got stopped for a full search at the border which was scary. I mean, had I brought a ton of stuff to sell at the workshops as I usually do, we would have been in a very awkward position, surely. But we didn't, so the car search didn't implicate us in any way. And the immigration guy was so very nice, and we chatted him up a little bit about bellydance and the workshops we were going to... Puts the fear o' god in ya, lemmie tell ya.

Every single time I visit Canada I am struck by how very very nice they all are (except for the border guards, who seem very rude by contrast, but it's kinda part of their job to be intimidating). I feel like I am coming home to old friends, even in a room of strangers. They are so open, and so giving. We were showered with a small flood of gifts right from our arrival in the form of a gift basket, complete with home-crafted bath salts, scented spray, and lotions; a package of digestives; home-canned peaches; and two mugs and a selection of teas and hot chocolate!

We tried to spend some time assembling our performance set for the following night, but kept getting stuck, so we struck out for dinner. Latitude 47 was down the street, and we got a hearty meal and a bottle of yummy wine. The "I love you man's" started pretty early this trip, and we talked about dance and our troupe and wonderfulness around all that. We chilled back at the room, and chatted late in the dark. The morning came too fast and we were tired, but off we went!

The workshops went well. The group was pretty beginner level across the board, so we didn't get as many concepts covered as I usually get to. I hadn't realized how few of them had any tribal experience, so the movements and stylings felt very foreign to them and were a struggle on some of the rudimentary concepts. When I discovered that many of them were under the impression that a shimmy was pumping your knees, and they didn't know there even was any other kind of shimmy, I had my work cut out for me. But that was good news--I was thrilled to be able to bring some general technique and theory to them, and they were so eager and so wonderful throughout, working hard and laughing along with us. I know I had fun, and they seemed to as well.

Back at the room, we set back to assembling a couple sets for the hafla that evening. We finally settled on a two-song first set featuring the skirtwork they had learned, and a three-song second set showcasing the bhangra they would be learning the next day. The first set was a surprise--we decided last minute to add an additional set, so we weren't on the schedule. We just came slinking up the aisle when they thought the intermission was about to begin, and they erupted into applause. That was fun. :)

I always love dancing with Gen (Hell, which of my sisters don't I love dancing with?!). We definitely have a great rapport onstage, and our comparable height and shape makes us appear even more in-synch. And Gen is great at eye contact and vamping it up with me! LOL SASSSSSSSSY GENEVIEVE!! And it is a rare treat to get to do duets in our group, since we work in trios mostly, and duets tend to be very limited in use. So getting to really connect just the two of us was a treat.

Afterward, we felt like superstars. Folks heaping on praise, taking photos with us, and each of us given a bottle of wine by the beautiful and fun Amy who we became friends with at Kamloops. We felt really good about the performance. Everyone then changed and head out to dinner at a restaurant just a block away, where we stuffed ourselves, drank wine, and then sleepily head back to the room...where we ate cheetos and drank more wine, and again talked way too late.

Morning came too fast, and we had to pack up and load the car to be able to head home right after the workshops were over. We started with some drills, introducing some basics isolation concepts and introducing different shimmies, which had their eyes wide and smiles beaming at something so new and different. I love that! Their enthusiasm feeds me, and I had much fun jamming alongside Gen as my stellar assistant. We finished with Bhangra, which tapered off a bit near the end, as the students lost steam in their 8th hour of workshops in one weekend. It was hard to keep them moving near the end, which was too bad since bhangra is usually such a complete adrenaline kick! But some of them just plain gave up, and I couldn't get them to push through it. :(

We ended with a nice long yoga cool-down, and brought the workshops to a close. I packed up what was left of my vending, which wasn't much, changed into fresh clothes, made our goodbyes with kisses and hugs, and hit the road. The drive is just so easy, especially compared to the Kamloops drive which felt like ages comparatively (well it was over twice as long!). I was welcomed to Seattle by a hailstorm and grey grey pounding rain, and no hubby...puppies, but no hubby. Because he was off in Burbank, CA drinking the Disney Kool-Aid!


Yes, Chris is now officially an employee at Disney! Sadly, it entailed an orientation down in Burbank, CA, which had him leaving about five hours before I got home from Chilliwack. Almost six days apart from one another altogether. *sigh* But at least puppies were tended to on each during our trips since there was little enough overlap in our absences. But it did suck to come home to no Chris. His presence is so grounding for me, and when I come home he hugs and kisses me, unpacks my car, hands me a glass of wine, and fends off nutty dogs until I am ready to have them barking and jumping all over me as they are wont to do. So the relatively quiet house the followed was lonely.

But Chris' trip sounded fabulous despite the dry HR presentations (replete with cheesy sexual harassment films!). He called me every day bubbling with info and trivia about Disney Studios (where the animators work, and the movies are filmed--it's where everything from Mary Poppins and 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea to *cough* Meet the Robinson's is created). He got "inside scoops" on lots of ongoing projects, and even got to eat Walt's favorite meal (chili) right on the property where Walt himself enjoyed it (which he informed me with a tone of pride). He bought me several pins, and were given a handful of others in various ways, which gets me a load of traders for our trip to WDW in Sept.

Sadly, his camera mysteriously went kaput right on arrival! It worked to make calls, but the screen was entirely blank. So he couldn't take any pics!! WAH! He tried to relay as much as he could, and I looked up maps and pictures I could find online to supplement, but I so wish he could have taken pics of the moments he personally experienced. But the cool news is that as an employee he can bring me to tour the facility anytime! Yes! He can take me onsite and take me into ANY part of the property save for the studios (which are working studios and they can't have people just walking around). But, for instance, we could walk right into the animation building and see where they work and maybe even see some live concept art or projects in the works! There is also a Disney Studios Archive, which is part mini-museum, part full archive of all videos, photos, and writings in the Disney collection. All the scripts. All the concept art. Every thought from Walt's first scribblings up to current projects gets archived there. Some is on display, some is on microfiche...sounds coooool. So hopefully we will get to do that next time we are down there. It's a bit of a drive from DLR, but would be worth a car rental to me to be able to go and see it. And Chris sounded sooo proud that he would get to be the one to open that door to me. My Chritter...*beam*

Looks like Chris will have a lot of great inside info on future projects and pending concepts, which he will be allowed to share with me, but I cannot share out at all (of course). I always chuckled at the people (assholes?) on the Disney forums I belong to who, in the middle of a discussion speculating about some rumored change or addition, would seem to so smugly pop up just to say, "Well, I know *something* (insert sidelong look here), but I am not allowed to say! Just know you will be pleased/displeased/surprised/shocked/whatever when the info is released to the (mere mortals) public!"

I could be that smug asshole! LOL

I finally got my hugs last night when I got home from troupe, which was fabulous. Sadly, we had to eat dinner and head right to bed, since today was his first day in the office. I am so sad that our free days together are over, and it's back to ships passing in the night. :( And for a while it may be worse than it was at his last job, since he will be spending extra time learning the new job and may be staying late here and there. *sigh* Why can't we be independently wealthy? But I am glad Chris is back at a job where we have benefits again--and some groovy perks. In fact, we found out that if a cruise isn't sold out...we can get 75% discounts!!! HOLY COW! We will be cruising soon for sure!

In other news, I hadn't reported on the kitchen in a while. We opted to tear out half of the wall, and the work is done. Now we need to try and match the texture of the patched wall with the old plaster which has a sand-texture surface...blunted by layers upon layers of paint. From everything I have read, it is near impossible to match these textures, but that is our next challenge. We also are eager to get a new fridge in there, since the one we have came with the house, and in addition to being pretty inefficient, is ugly. And it is now the first thing you see when you walk toward the dining room, since it is right there framed in the new opening. *sigh* We have something picked out, but it is going to be a couple grand plus, and we can't do that right now. We are also looking at doing the cabinets this summer, which will rule. :) I can't wait. I have been hitting up ikeafans.com again lately to prepare myself for that day.

So that is the latest updates from me. Sorry I have been such a lame LJer, but I haven't been very chatty online in general lately. I am all about refocusing my energies in 2007, and am looking hard at where I want to spend my time and energy. I guess blogging hasn't been high on that list, though keeping in touch with all of ym friends IS. So do keep in touch, dear friends. You guys rule.

Chilliwack is da bomb!

by Wednesday, April 04, 2007
This past weekend was wonderful fun. Gen and I head up to Chilliwack, BC to teach a weekend chock full of dancing goodness.


We got stopped for a full search at the border which was scary. I mean, had I brought a ton of stuff to sell at the workshops as I usually do, we would have been in a very awkward position, surely. But we didn't, so the car search didn't implicate us in any way. And the immigration guy was so very nice, and we chatted him up a little bit about bellydance and the workshops we were going to... Puts the fear o' god in ya, lemmie tell ya.

Every single time I visit Canada I am struck by how very very nice they all are (except for the border guards, who seem very rude by contrast, but it's kinda part of their job to be intimidating). I feel like I am coming home to old friends, even in a room of strangers. They are so open, and so giving. We were showered with a small flood of gifts right from our arrival in the form of a gift basket, complete with home-crafted bath salts, scented spray, and lotions; a package of digestives; home-canned peaches; and two mugs and a selection of teas and hot chocolate!

We tried to spend some time assembling our performance set for the following night, but kept getting stuck, so we struck out for dinner. Latitude 47 was down the street, and we got a hearty meal and a bottle of yummy wine. The "I love you man's" started pretty early this trip, and we talked about dance and our troupe and wodnerfulness around all that. We chilled back at the room, and chatted late in the dark. The morning came too fast and we were tired, but off we went!

The workshops went well. The group was pretty beginner level across the board, so we didn't get as many concepts covered as I usually get to. I hadn't realized how few of them had any tribal experience, so the movements and stylings felt very foreign to them and were a struggle on some of the rudimentary concepts. When I discovered that many of them were under the impression that a shimmy was pumping your knees, and they didn't know there even was any other kind of shimmy, I had my work cut out for me. But that was good news--I was thrilled to be able to bring some general technique and theory to them, and they were so eager and so wonderful throughout, working hard and laughing along with us. I know I had fun, and they seemed to as well.

Back at the room, we set back to assembling a couple sets for the hafla that evening. We finally settled on a two-song first set featuring the skirtwork they had learned, and a three-song second set showcasing the bhangra they would be learning the next day. The first set was a surprise--we decided last minute to add an additional set, so we weren't on the schedule. We just came slinking up the aisle when they thought the intermission was about to begin, and they erupted into applause. That was fun. :)

I always love dancing with Gen (Hell, which of my sisters don't I love dancing with?!). We definitely have a great rapport onstage, and our comparable height and shape makes us appear even more in-synch. And Gen is great at eye contact and vamping it up with me! LOL SASSSSSSSSY GENEVIEVE!! And it is a rare treat to get to do duets in our group, since we work in trios mostly, and duets tend to be very limited in use. So getting to really connect just the two of us was a treat.

Afterward, we felt like superstars. Folks heaping on praise, taking photos with us, and each of us given a bottle of wine by the beautiful and fun Amy who we became friends with at Kamloops. We felt really good about the performance. Everyone then changed and head out to dinner at a restaurant just a block away, where we stuffed ourselves, drank wine, and then sleepily head back to the room...where we ate cheetos and drank more wine, and again talked way too late.

Morning came too fast, and we had to pack up and load the car to be able to head home right after the workshops were over. We started with some drills, introducing some basics isolation concepts and introducing different shimmies, which had their eyes wide and smiles beaming at something so new and different. I love that! Their enthusiasm feeds me, and I had much fun jamming alongside Gen as my stellar assistant. We finished with Bhangra, which tapered off a bit near the end, as the students lost steam in their 8th hour of workshops in one weekend. It was hard to keep them moving near the end, which was too bad since bhangra is usually such a complete adrenaline kick! But some of them just plain gave up, and I couldn't get them to push through it. :(

We ended with a nice long yoga cool-down, and brought the workshops to a close. I packed up what was left of my vending, which wasn't much, changed into fresh clothes, made our goodbyes with kisses and hugs, and hit the road. The drive is just so easy, especially compared to the Kamloops drive which felt like ages comparatively (well it was over twice as long!). I was welcomed to Seattle by a hailstorm and grey grey pounding rain, and no hubby...puppies, but no hubby. Because he was off in Burbank, CA drinking the Disney Kool-Aid!

My Mom journaled

by Monday, March 12, 2007

 

So today as I was searching for my copy of the Artist's Way (which some of my troupemates and I are going to be doing together (again for some of us)), I walked past the stack of plastic boxes which had been passed on to me from my Mom on our last visit. In our family, we didn't have scrapbooks or anything so organized. We had "memory boxes". Basically, everyone had a cardboard box where anything you achieved was thrown into. Report cards, certificates of achievement, essays, birthday cards, pictures you drew, notes, photographs... They all would get crumpled and torn over the years, but that didn't seem to be an issue when considering changing systems.

So I opened mine. Or what was mostly mine. Over time, looks like a lot of cross-pollination took place, and there were some memorabilia from all my siblings in there along with my stuff. And then I came across some cards from my Dad to my Mom. And I found some notes that seemed to be pieces of a scavenger hunt my Dad had assembled for my Mom at some time, and a little handmade heart with a promise for a backrub from Mom to Dad. I felt like I was peering in on something intensely private, and at the same time, sad that my Mom wanted to throw all of this "out" by tossing it into my memory box and pushing it off onto me.

One discovery made me take pause, and is ringing in my mind right now. My father's handwriting is just as distinct as my Mother's, and completely the opposite. While my Mom has swirling script, my Father always wrote in all-caps. Precise, boxy lettering. And he never wrote much. Even in anniversary cards, he never wrote more than "Love, Me" at the bottom. No extra note. And he always signed it "Me". So it was surprising to find a small notecard--the kind that accompanies flower arrangements--written in his stilted unpracticed cursive, which he almost never used. It read, "Honey, You deserve so much more. Me."

My mind races. What circumstance inspired him to write such a self-deprecating note? What was he apologizing for? What had he done? Or not done? What had she said? Imagining my Father in some emotional state where he believed himself to be unworthy of my Mother, or somehow incapable of giving her the life he (or she?) felt she deserved...it breaks me heart. And felt like some kind of insight into his suicide all those years later... but maybe I am reading too much into one little note. I just know it made me well up with tears as I studied it, and makes my chest feel tight to picture it now in my mind's eye...

And then I realize that maybe the card meant "You deserve so much more (than just these flowers)". And the tightness doesn't go away. Because I realize that his suicide has made me approach every piece of memorabilia with the eye of some kind of detective. I am filled with a degree melancholy and suspicion as I dig through these memories, as if searching for a clue to the mystery. I read into everything. The tiniest notes make me feel connected to him, and at the same time remind me that I didn't really ever know what was in his heart and he feels even further away than you believe even death could carry someone...

I also found some "journals" of my Mom's. I had no idea she ever journaled anything. But here they were, funny little spiral-bound memo books with her clean cursive writing I recognize anyplace. And the entries are very short, and mostly matter-of-fact.

"Oct 11th
Left this morning for Honolulu. G&G came out to the airport--so did Daddy on his way to Newark. Arrived Honolulu at 12:30. Went to Holiday Inn. Kids swam in the afternoon, ate at the hotel restaurant. Didn't attempt to make flight as TE-11 was canceled. No room for us."

I continued reading, and found this was an account of the month-long trip she took me and brother on to New Zealand when I was about 7 years old. The entries were brief throughout, a few days apart throughout the trip. Now, I know for a fact that my Mom was completely harassed by the husband of a friend we went to stay with at one point during our trip. Sicker still, it was when his wife was in the hospital giving birth to their third child, and my Mom was helping take care of the kids and house while she was away. But the short little entries reveal nothing. Sure, they relate, in two sentences, how we went to see the Queen Mother walk down Queens Way, and that the Prince himself walked right up and touched my hand and smiled at me while I waved my New Zealand flag with zeal. She shares a couple lines about our walks to the bakery each morning, and our long day on One Tree Hill, playing in the park. How Brian and I were loving tea every day, and out on the farm how we loved the fresh milk and butter. But she was nearly attacked by her friend's husband, and she doesn't note it anywhere?

Which got me thinking about the nature of journaling, and associated blogging, and wondering "Who is this for?" And if it is for us, how honest are we in our writing, and how much of what we write is revisionist, in that we only write what we want to remember, and avoid writing about the things that we might later be sad about or even ashamed of.

I have stacks of hand-written journals I have kept for years. I no longer write in a hand-written journal, because frankly it is too slow for me. All my life I found it frustrating that my hand couldn't write as fast as thoughts came to me, and my hand would invariably cramp up at some inopportune time. Add to that the fact that with the advent of blogging, my focus in writing changed to be able to not only record my thoughts and experiences for myself, but to share them with friends so we can keep up with one another. Which changes the nature of the writing significantly. I look at some of my handwritten journals, and I cringe at times at some of the harsh honesty and embarrassing details contained therein (I am reminded that my father always told me that if I ever got famous, I should burn my journals. At times, I consider doing it anyway...). And then I look at my fairly sterile-by-comparison LJ, and realize I don't really write for me any more. I do, but it is censored and focused in such a way that it is more revisionist than I may have realized before today...before finding my Mom's journal.

Thing is, I am not sure who my Mom would have been writing her journal for. But I an inclined to believe it was just for herself. And she chose not to tell her own tale honestly. I wonder why...

As we speak...

by Saturday, March 03, 2007


My beloved is walking into his interview with Disney Online.He was excited and nervous when he left, as would be expected. Emphasis on the excited. I don't remember the last time I saw him bouncing around the house being his goofy self so much, let alone literally announcing, "I'm excited." He is also feeling very confident in his ability to get this job.

Of course, if he doesn't for whatever reason, that will entirely suck. But I feel really confident on his behalf, too...

The upside? Aside from Chris having a job he believes he will love--which is enough in itself--our vacation in September could potentially be as much as 40%-60% cheaper. When you don't have to buy park passes, and your hotel is 50% off, you save cash.

The downside? We can't win a THING in the Year of a Million Dreams contests! So if they try to hand us a super FastPass, or, GOD FORBID, a night in Cinderella's Castle...we have to say no!

I may tell Chris he has to quit immediately if that happens, though...

Why all the hatin?

by Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Valentine's Day...
I have never understood the amount of negativity people have toward a holiday that is devoted to love. This is not directed at anyone particular, but instead feelings that have long germinated in me over this topic.

"But it's so COMMERCIALIZED..."
You don't have to buy a THING from Hallmark or anyone else to give a gift to someone you love. Draw or paint something for your Mom. Sew up something fun for your best girlfriend. Make a "coupon book" for your boyfriend. Wash your car and go for a day road-trip with your honey, pack a picnic dinner...so many little things you can do for fun.

"I hate feeling like I am OBLIGATED to do something..."
Obligated? How about OPPORTUNITY?! A chance to celebrate the idea of love, in all its forms, with the rest of the country (or world, depending on other countries that celebrate it :). A chance to smile, look someone in the eye, and say "Happy Valentine's Day!" and better yet, follow it up with "I love you!" And from there, it can be as simple or as complex as you want it to be. No obligation. Just a chance to do something a little special and different from last Tuesday...

"Why just ONE day? I mean, we should be loving to each other EVERY day."
Right, and every day should be your birthday, because you are valuable and special every day? And it should be Christmas every day because we should celebrate good will toward men every day. And it should be Independence Day every day because we should be grateful for all the freedoms our country allows us, and the honor the men and women who fight for those rights and priviledges. And am I only required to not be racist during black history month?

Setting aside one day to especially recognize something important doesn't mean it isn't something that should be valued and practiced the rest of the year. But having one day to really focus on it and share that moment with many other people who are also celebrating and honoring it...it's magical. Give yourself permission to share in it, too!

If you don't want to celebrate it, fine. But the excuses make no sense to me. This holiday, in whatever different form, was around long before commercialism took hold of it. We don't have to be bound by what they say it is. It is what WE make it--a chance to give friends an extra-special gift or write them a note to acknowledgment their value in our lives; a chance to pat ourselves on the back and focus on the love we have for ourselves and maybe treat ourselves to a little indulgence we might not ordinarily; a chance to go out of your way to tell your family how much they mean to you and add a smile to their day; and for some it is just plain permission to say "I love you" to people who on any other day might feel it was overly emotional or out of context--not everyone has open, loving relationships in their lives where they get to say it and hear it every other day of the year. If you are one who does, then you are blessed. If you are not, then don't disparage a holiday and businesses which support the practice so at least one day a year, a woman (or man) gets flowers, candy, and a back rub. :)

PLEASE VISIT MY DANCE BLOG!


On this blog I share my personal posts about cooking and knitting, travel and other musings; while I will blog about dance-specific topics over on the Deep Roots Dance blog:
http://www.deeprootsdance.com

I hope you will enjoy both my sites. Thanks for visiting!
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