Blast From The Past - 29 Was A Good Year

A post from my 30th birthday over on LiveJournal

"Hell, the entire latter half of my 20's in general were really good.

I started my own business when I was 26. I left my office job in the tech sector soon after, to focus on what I really wanted to do. My husband was willing and able to support me in this. I trained with my mentor and started teaching classes not too long after that.

My classes grew. My business grew. My troupe grew. My marriage grew. My friendships grew. My family (puppies!) grew. My joy grew. (the word "grew" just stopped making sense ;)

And that has been the sum of my latter half of my 20's. Everything growing and flourishing. Boundaries being tested and expanded. Bits and pieces settling in, others being uprooted and examined, nurtured in new directions. It has taken a lot of work, but work that was well worth the effort and despite stumbles here and there, were really such a natural process and such a blessing to have the opportunity to be "my life".

So now I am facing 30. 10:36 tonight I am officially reborn into a new decade. Supposedly a really incredible decade for most. But those who go on and on about how great their 30's are, are the same people who said they didn't like their 20's that much. And really, I loved my 20's. All the struggles and heartache, all the mistakes and COMPLETE AND UTTER MISTAKES...I love them all. I truly do. Of course I have regrets here and there, but not such that I would take it back if I could--they shaped me. And I always seem to land on my feet (JINX!), no matter how bad things get. I have always had friends who are true blue--love in my life that has seen me through times when I felt I didn't deserve love. Pursuits that filled up the lonliest days and enhanced the most social of days.

To say it's been an easy life dismisses too much of the truly difficult times I have gone through. But looking back, I had it damn good. It wasn't easy, but it was just as it should be, you know what I mean? How do you beat that?

So here I stand at 30. Three-Oh. Oh. Dear. I guess when most people are looking forward to the good changes ahead, to the ride up the hill to greater things, I stand at the top of a huge hill built with love and joy and think, "Is there any way to go but down from here?!" And I fear my 30's a little. I fear the loss of things I probably don't even know I have now, but boy will I know them when they're gone! And while I vow not to turn into a worrier over things that haven't even happened yet, I can't help but feel a little trepidation about my 30's. I feel like my running headlong into today with excitement was just brought up short by the realization that things are so damn good now, where can I go from here?

If, God willing, that direction is up, I can't even imagine what that will mean. And if for a time it is down, I have a pretty strong foundation to stand on while I weather the storm.

So why worry...

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On this blog I share my personal posts about cooking and knitting, travel and other musings; while I will blog about dance-specific topics over on the Deep Roots Dance blog:

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