Our other property was broken into last weekend. It is currently unoccupied and we were additionally on vacation out of town so didn't stop by as we normally do to check on the house and do yard work. Perfect timing he could not have known about. We found out today when we showed up and saw the side shed open and some tools laying about. Then I saw the apple tree was pruned, followed by seeing the giant overgrown rhododendron cut back extensively. Looked up and saw a window open (not broken into, just open, screen still in). Then the back door was unlocked. We proceeded with caution and found no one inside, but there were boxes of things in the kitchen, all the cupboards were open, the fuse panel was open and the fuses removed for some of the electrical lines...things were WAY out of sorts.

The man DID YARD WORK in our back yard, so when a neighbor saw him and asked what he was up to he simply said "Just cleaning up." Great cover. Get this: He trimmed trees, shrubs, blackberry bushes, and raked it into piles, even bagged some of it up... then later broke into the house and both sheds (tore one shed door off the hinges, cut through the metal paneling on the back of the other shed and crawled in) and stole every bit of wiring, copper piping, tools, and scrap metal he could find to haul away down the back alley. He took down shelving and boxed up the metal brackets intending to take them abut they were left behind. Strewn about the yard were various radio components and metal scrap we didn't even know had been in the sheds, but were clearly pulled out for consideration. He disconnected built-in speakers and pulled the wiring from the walls, and even went under the house and stole some of our piping and electrical from under the house, took plumbing from the bathroom, and cut cords off of any electrical items in the house (a space heater, a fan, appliances, etc). Hauled away about 8 car batteries, too. This must have taken hours to do, maybe even came back over days, with the yard work he did plus the volume of items stolen. A headlamp flashlight was left behind and powered on in the living room, which leads me believe he returned at night to complete some of the work. He also found a wall-safe behind a photo on the wall, pried the door off by brute force, and then REHUNG THE PHOTO. Drug addict, anyone?

Our neighbor who saw him didn't get any useful description of him for the police and they doubt they will find prints. We are bolting things down and putting up No Trespassing signs as suggested by the police to help should a squatter try to come in and take residency--showing we tried to make the place inaccessible helps with legal issues that may arise, as was the case at the 137th and Burke house recently in the news in Shoreline. The cops were really nice, helpful, professional, sympathetic. They were even on some calls at the 137th and Burke house, and had mentioned seeing our house before today and wondering if it was going to be a target. They pay attention!

The upside? Weeks of yard work done for us by someone else. *shrugging and laughing* If you can't have a sense of humor about these things, what do you have?

I am upset, but I don't know how to describe it. I am not angry or scared per se. Definitely feel violated but not in a fearful way. In an "icky" way. I feel irritated--annoyed at the headache this causes. The house is a teardown, but not yet. So we need to pay to have someone come out and fix the electrical and plumbing, at least basically, so that we don't have problems down the line (like the sump pump has no power now, so when it starts to rain this will be a big issue). I just kinda wanted to crawl home, cuddle my dog, and drink wine and not have to deal with it. Ugh.

Have you ever known a mother or father (or been a mother or father) who forgot to pick up their child from a school activity, playdate, daycare or school? Perhaps dates got shuffled around, maybe dad usually picks them up but today mom was supposed to, the usual routine wasn't in play, and it just slipped their (your) mind?

Luckily, there was probably someone who called and jogged their memory, and sheepishly the parent went and got them. These people aren't neglectful monsters. They are human beings and very normal parents juggling a million things in their world. Nobody would judge them too harshly, *shrug* it happens. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Now imagine that instead of being left at a daycare or neighbor's house, they were left in a car on a hot day. And since there was no one to call and jog your memory, horrifically, tragically, that child died. Suddenly, you are evil, hateful, cruel, selfish, unforgivable. You are vile garbage who clearly should have never had a child and should be locked up for life in the deepest darkest dungeon. No "good parent" would ever do such a thing.

I reject that notion.

Over on Facebook, a lot of discussion has been going on surrounding the media's attention on infant car deaths due to hyperhermia--that is, heat stroke from being locked in a car on a hot day. I have seen almost zero sympathy for these parents and the horrible tragedy they perpetuated. Their punishment is their own thoughts, their prison will be their own minds having to live with what happened. I feel intense sadness for them, but not anger. There is some good reading on this, so here is an excerpt from a HuffPo piece, and a link to a long, tough read which breaks down the phenomenon--how and why it happens, and who does it happen to. Not exactly a happy-sunshiney post today, but I wanted to share my thoughts, and the thoughts of these articulate writers, on the subject.

"What kind of parent forgets their baby? A monster, right? A callous, careless, stupid, irresponsible human being who should never have been trusted with a child in the first place, yes?

No. Which is why I keep asking this question.

The parents who accidentally leave their children to die could be any of us. That was the message of one of the most compelling pieces of journalism I have ever read, one in the Washington Post by Gene Weingarten four years ago (it later won him a Pulitzer Prize.) Dissecting a number of tragedies he persuasively argues that those who lose children this way could be you or me.

'What kind of person forgets a baby?

The wealthy do, it turns out. And the poor, and the middle class. Parents of all ages and ethnicities do it. Mothers are just as likely to do it as fathers. It happens to the chronically absent-minded and to the fanatically organized, to the college-educated and to the marginally literate. In the last 10 years, it has happened to a dentist. A postal clerk. A social worker. A police officer. An accountant. A soldier. A paralegal. An electrician. A Protestant clergyman. A rabbinical student. A nurse. A construction worker. An assistant principal. It happened to a mental health counselor, a college professor and a pizza chef. It happened to a pediatrician. It happened to a rocket scientist.'
...
Think that could never happen to you? Read Weingarten’s enitre article here. Then come back and tell me you are still completely sure. Think that parents who do this should be tried for manslaughter and sent to jail? Read of how these families punish themselves, and come back and tell me if you still feel the same way.
...
My heart breaks for the 15 families who have lost children to the heat so far this year and the more than 650 who have done so in recent decades.

Calling the parents inhuman monsters might make us feel better, but it won’t save the next child. Recognizing they are human beings just might."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/27/AR2009022701549.html?sid=ST2009030602446

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/25/what-parent-leaves-child-in-broiling-car_n_3497956.html

Have you ever known a mother or father (or been a mother or father) who forgot to pick up their child from a school activity, playdate, daycare or school? Perhaps dates got shuffled around, maybe dad usually picks them up but today mom was supposed to, the usual routine wasn't in play, and it just slipped their (your) mind?

Luckily, there was probably someone who called and jogged their memory, and sheepishly the parent went and got them. These people aren't neglectful monsters. They are human beings and very normal parents juggling a million things in their world. Nobody would judge them too harshly, *shrug* it happens. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Now imagine that instead of being left at a daycare or neighbor's house, they were left in a car on a hot day. And since there was no one to call and jog your memory, horrifically, tragically, that child died. Suddenly, you are evil, hateful, cruel, selfish, unforgivable. You are vile garbage who clearly should have never had a child and should be locked up for life in the deepest darkest dungeon. No "good parent" would ever do such a thing.

I reject that notion.

A lot of discussion has been going on surrounding the media's attention on infant car deaths due to hyperhermia--that is, heat stroke from being locked in a car on a hot day. I have seen almost zero sympathy for these parents and the horrible tragedy they endured. Their punishment is their own thoughts, their prison will be their own minds having to live with what happened. I feel intense sadness for them, empathy for their heartbreak and incredible loss, but not anger. There is some good reading on this, so here is an excerpt from a HuffPo piece, and a link to a long, tough read which breaks down the phenomenon--how and why it happens, and who does it happen to. Not exactly a happy-sunshiney post today, but I wanted to share my thoughts, and the thoughts of these articulate writers, on the subject.

"What kind of parent forgets their baby? A monster, right? A callous, careless, stupid, irresponsible human being who should never have been trusted with a child in the first place, yes?

No. Which is why I keep asking this question.

The parents who accidentally leave their children to die could be any of us. That was the message of one of the most compelling pieces of journalism I have ever read, one in the Washington Post by Gene Weingarten four years ago (it later won him a Pulitzer Prize.) Dissecting a number of tragedies he persuasively argues that those who lose children this way could be you or me.
'What kind of person forgets a baby?

The wealthy do, it turns out. And the poor, and the middle class. Parents of all ages and ethnicities do it. Mothers are just as likely to do it as fathers. It happens to the chronically absent-minded and to the fanatically organized, to the college-educated and to the marginally literate. In the last 10 years, it has happened to a dentist. A postal clerk. A social worker. A police officer. An accountant. A soldier. A paralegal. An electrician. A Protestant clergyman. A rabbinical student. A nurse. A construction worker. An assistant principal. It happened to a mental health counselor, a college professor and a pizza chef. It happened to a pediatrician. It happened to a rocket scientist.'

...

Think that could never happen to you? Read Weingarten’s enitre article here. Then come back and tell me you are still completely sure. Think that parents who do this should be tried for manslaughter and sent to jail? Read of how these families punish themselves, and come back and tell me if you still feel the same way.

...

My heart breaks for the 15 families who have lost children to the heat so far this year and the more than 650 who have done so in recent decades.

Calling the parents inhuman monsters might make us feel better, but it won’t save the next child. Recognizing they are human beings just might."

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/25/what-parent-leaves-child-in-broiling-car_n_3497956.html

Asiago Crusted Chicken with Pesto Angel Hair Pasta
1 lb. chicken breasts, boneless skinless
1/4 c. Asiago cheese
1 egg
1/2 c. bread cumbs
Oregano, garlic salt, pepper to taste
2 portions angel hair pasta
store-bought pesto
dash of cream
pat of butter

Cook time approx 25 minutes

Instructions

• Pre-heat oven to 375F
• Foil a baking pan or sheet, spray foil with cooking spray
• Combine cheese, bread crumbs, oregano, salt and pepper in a shallow bowl
• Crack egg into separate bowl and whisk lightly
• Pat chicken dry, dip in egg then in cheese/bread crumbs mixture coating all sides
• Place chicken on prepared baking sheet and put in oven, set timer for 10 minutes
• When timer goes off, start a pot of water boiling; Re-set timer for 15 minutes
• When water comes to boil, drop in pasta and cook 7-9 minutes
• Drain pasta and return to hot pot. Immediately drop in pat of butter and stir to coat pasta. Add dash of cream (I used about a Tablespoon) and stir. Finally, add 2 Tbsp of pesto or as much as desired to coat your pasta
• Your timer for the chicken should be going off about now, so pull it outta there
• Place a nest of pesto pasta in the center of the plate, lay chicken breast on top. Grate a little more asiago on top, maybe a sprig of parsley if you're feeling festive

In the late 80's, I was in a youth summer stock touring company. As we were traveling around Arizona and southern California with our show, we would get to attend lots of theater along the way. Debbie Reynolds was playing in a touring revival of The Unsinkable Molly Brown down in LA (at the Shubert? The Kodak?). This was a reprisal of her role 25 years after she was an Oscar nominee for her movie role, but I had no idea. Thanks to this experience, I always think of Molly as an older woman, not the young woman she would have been in her 1964 movie role...and that is only one of the remarkable memories I carry away from it...

During one scene aboard the Titanic, Molly is talking about her gigantic wedding ring. She strode out on the stage, and mid-sentence she stayed in character yet broke the 4th wall when she said, "...and I left my ring backstage..." She strode back off stage to get the prop and returned to the scene, the audience applauding and howling at this "raw moment".

I remember we would debrief our theater experiences, and in discussing our night out at this show, our director told we young, impressionable child actors that while that scene was funny and memorable, "she could get away with it because she is DEBBIE REYNOLDS."

I never forgot that lesson. There are some people who by virtue of talent or fame or a combination of  both (because lord knows these days they are not tied together in any way) somehow manage to win us over no matter what they do. They have that "X-Factor" which makes them magnetic to us mere mortals, and we forgive them everything and enjoy those brief moments of familiarity when they make mistakes. "HEY! They're human!" and that realization doesn't knock them down, but instead raises them up somehow.

I aspire to that in my life. Yet I know talent can't buy that entirely. Experience breeds grace in some cases, but that isn't always the way. For most, it is something within you--your soul, your spirit, your je ne sais quoi-- which wins over all. Debbie had it. And I see many performers in my world, both big time and "small time" who have this quality. It's easy to be jealous of them. But even easier to just be in awe of them and enjoy what they have to offer.