I have students who drive quite a distance to study with me--a fact I find speaks more to their dedication to the dance than any special skill I have in my teaching bag of tricks. A handful drive as much as an hour and a half to come to class every week, and I just want to squeeze the bejeezus out of them for their commitment and enthusiasm! Kat is one such student, and is even more remarkable than most. Not only does she drive so far (often alone now that some of her friends she used to commute with have conflicts and can't come to class each week any longer); but she has overcome some incredible struggles with her health as well, culminating in a kidney transplant about a year ago, from which she is recovering beautifully and is healthier and stronger than ever, I am pleased to report! Combined with many dance and life commitments in her own town, I don't get to see her as often as I used to, which is our loss. Kat has an incredible energy that everyone in the room can feel--to meet Kat is to love her, truly--always with a smile, a positive word, a hug, a laugh.

This fall she has been making an effort to come to class again with more regularity, which continues to be a struggle, and which is completely understandable. This last week she came after a few weeks away, and a couple days later I received this message from her. I was moved to tears by her words, which is the kind of epiphany all we teachers wish our students could arrive at. I thought some fellow dancers and teachers might appreciate the astute observations Kat made about her class experience this past week, about the importance of intention and being fully present in your practice. I asked her permission to share this with you, and she enthusiastically agreed. So here is the letter that completely made my day...really made my teaching year! I would enjoy hearing your thoughts on this as well, so please feel free to write or comment.

Your class this Monday was meditation to me. I left there with a whole new appreciation and perspective about classes. I realize how precious it is to be there. I saw more than ever all that I lose when I can't make it...

It's more than just being there, it's what comes with me when I leave. I've always known that class was important, I just didn't realize till now HOW. Moves I've known like the Circle Step (that I've done more times than I can count) took on a whole new life to me. You broke it down and made it rich. It wasn't just a move, it demanded thought. My mind and my body fused~and I realized that every time I've done a move/combo without my brain involved, the movement lost it's purpose. Dance is a language and if the movement has no intention, no purpose, then it's like saying stuff without saying anything at all.

I spent all day yesterday going through all the moves/combos I know and did them one by one with awareness~and I saw that with each move I did, I didn't have as good of a relationship with them as I thought. My body is sore from it, and my mind is much more excited and awake.

You teach much more than just moves~ you're teaching energy, awareness, and connection. Thank you for peeling my eyelids up so I can really look at myself...I needed & wanted to see this truth about myself and my dance.

Love,
~kat

"I have learned a great lesson this last week/2 weeks. I must pay attention to my intentions. I got a little lost for a bit because I allowed my focus to stray from my ultimate goal. I guess I’ve spent so much time and energy trying to identify just what that goal was, I lost sight of it in my search for the hard way to find it.

I remember a number of stories my teacher told me in the 1980’s about always seeking out the tons of ways and heavy energy I would expend to find my way when it was right in front of me all the time and all I had to do was reach out and grab it. I miss Ruth. She’s probably laughing her head off at me right now, but I think she’d be proud to see that I’m finally just reaching out and grabbing what has been there all along."

I came across a new blog the other day, "Living the Created Life", and in reading through some past posts I found the above quote.


It made me muse to myself...what things in my life are really just there for me to reach out and take? How much do I make grand gestures in an attempt to achieve a more fulfilling life, attain greater happiness, forge stronger relationships, reach desired goals...how much am I generating "heavy energy" or "expanding" to try and reach it, instead of just reaching for it from where I am? Could it really be that easy? How will we know if we don't try?

I have been trying to get back into my meditation practice, which is a really good exercise in doing nothing for me. I am awful at having a quiet mind, and I make it worse by surrounding myself constantly with fillers--internet, music, television are always near at hand, ready to give my mind a task or feed it with passive input constantly. I am back on the Artist Way wagon, which always gives me a sort of motivation (permission?) to balance out my daily routine with some nothingness. In mediation, there is no "grasping" at the meditative state. You can't make it happen--pushing or forcing yourself somehow into a quietude doesn't work. Instead, you sit and allow it to come. You become restful, bring your energy gently inward so it is ready to open and expand of its own accord. There is no try, only do, right?

And this practice at meditation, coupled with the blog post above, it makes me wonder...what else can I gently set myself ready to receive so I can pluck it when it presents itself? What am I not seeing that is right in front of me, because I am casting about so frantically to find that which is simply waiting for me to see it? What opportunity, what intent, is unrealized because I am not focused in the right direction?

What about you?